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The suburban person makes sure to check out who’s birthday it is on facebook. It doesn’t matter if it’s your best friend, rabbi, gym teacher, or friend you haven’t seen/spoken to in 7 years, the suburban person will leave a “happy birthday” post on their wall. You will most likely never talk to this person ever again, but if you run into them a few years down the road, an ice breaker for conversation could be about how you left them a happy birthday post on facebook
In the eyes of the suburban kid, you aren’t all that cool unless you can generate some comments and likes on facebook. If you can leave a facebook status that generates a ton of comments and likes, your social status will skyrocket. People will treat you differently out in public because they know the power you have on facebook. If a girl you’ve liked for a while adds a little comment on a status you left, this could possibly mean she is showing some interest in getting to know you better.
Finals week is a HUGE week socially for suburban people. The typical college suburban kid will update their facebook page over and over about how many exams they have left and how the ones they’ve taken already have gone. Upon exiting the exam room, most subrban kids will immediately talk about how bad they did on the test because this is the cool thing to do. Typical posts are “2 down, 5 to go!” or “I have another date with the library tonight!”
As we all know, Suburban people follow the rules. When a traffic light turns yellow, the suburban person will come to a complete stop and wait until the light turns green again. Speeding up to “beat” the yellow light is unheard of. If you do happen to be riding through the suburbs and you speed through a yellow light, people will stare at you. You’ll also get some classic “shaking of the heads” where the suburban people will sit there, shaking their head.
The suburban person loves to stare. Due to their being no diversity in the suburbs, it is hard for them to cope with the fact that there is a whole world outside of their bubble where stuff is different. Suburban people go about their daily lives quietly following the rules and interacting with people of the same color/ethnicity. Upon seeing people of different ethnic backgrounds or witnessing an event such as a man stealing magazines or condoms from a drugstore, the suburban person will simply just stare.